“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.” – Haruki Murakami
This quotation by Haruki Murakami is the quintessential description of how a family member trapped in the vicious cycle of domestic abuse more than likely feels. And, unfortunately, most adults who enter into an abusive relationship have done so of their own accord. There are many reasons for this. And, it is essential to note that this statement is not a criticism. It is a fact that is highlighted to help victims escape the cycle of abuse.
Therefore, the questions that must be asked and answered are: How do victims of domestic violence escape? And, equally importantly, how do they put measures into place to prevent it from reoccurring?
Domestic violence: A succinct definition
Before we look at ways to deal with domestic violence, let’s consider the following definition:
According to Steve Bressert, Ph.D., domestic violence is “when spouses, intimate partners or dates use physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, harassment or stalking to control the behavior of their partners.”
He goes on to highlight the most crucial aspect of this article: “Victims need to understand that they are not responsible for the abuse. [You do] not deserve to be abused no matter what the circumstances may be.”
Thus, irrespective of how you feel, no matter how responsible you feel for the abuse, and how you might feel as though it is your fault, the salient point is to remember that it is not your fault. You are not responsible. And, it would be best if you got out of the situation as soon as possible before it costs you your life.
Ways to deal with familial abuse
According to research conducted by Sascha Griffing and other researchers, titled “Domestic Violence Survivors’ Self-Identified Reasons for Returning to Abusive Relationships,” and published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, the issue of attachment to the abuser is a fundamental reason why a victim will return to the abuser.
Therefore, it is vital to put measures into place to ensure that you are not put in the position where it becomes tempting to return to the familial abusive situation. Here are a few ways to deal with the abusive scenario:
Contact a legal expert
USA statistics show that nearly 20 people are physically abused per minute by a family member or intimate partner. And there are severe economic, physical, and mental impacts of this abuse on the victim.
Therefore, if you are a familial violence victim, it is necessary to contact a local domestic assault lawyer. Acts of domestic abuse or violence constitute a crime. Thus, you will need help with dealing with the legal aspects of the domestic assault to protect yourself and your children.
Get Medical and emotional help
As highlighted above, the victim faces serious consequences such as physical injuries and mental health issues like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Consequently, it’s vital to connect with the necessary medical specialists to treat both physical and emotional injuries.
Final thoughts
Unfortunately, USA statistics show that there are more than ten million men and women abused during a calendar year. And, equally regrettably, there is still a social stigma attached to being abused. Therefore, it’s vital for victims to realize that it is not their fault and to get the help that they need to get out, stay out, and heal from the situation.